What to do…

Today, I walked to a large cylindrical building in order that I might participate in what could be refered to as an “assembly”  It could also be called a “convocation” a “ceremony” or a “gathering of a bunch of people”  At this assembly I found myself facing a moral quandary.  It isn’t a moral quandary that is truly that important or that I think many people would have.  It isn’t even necessarily a “moral” quandary so much as a second guessing of some of my principles.  You see, while I was sitting viewing a series of presenters and listening to the words that they spoke, there were a few places in which people were either expected or not expected to stand.  I myself was sitting near a group of friends.  Here is where the danger lies.  I found myself mimicking what decisions the other three people in this line of friendly faces in regards to standing or sitting.  Several times they made a decision that was contrary to the group as a whole and I followed them at it.  My question is why?  Why did I do this?  Was it because I felt as they did about that particular moment and decided to do the same as they?  Or was it because they were doing it and I wanted to do what they were doing?  It becomes even more confusing when you factor in the few times when I felt like doing the opposite of what these three friends did.  Did I want to do the opposite because it was different then what they were doing?  Did I want to do the opposite because it was the same as what the assembly as a whole was doing?  Thus my quandary.  I seek to live as an individual.  Neither doing things because other people are or doing them because other people aren’t.  I want to do things only because I personally believe it is a good idea.  And yet I am not sure if I was able to do that on this small scale.  Can I really believe I will hold my own when it really matters?


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